Go Away Little Girl – Blog Spammers

Two Simple Plugins That Will Fix Blog Spammers’ Wagons for Good

by Dave Curtis on 10/23/2010

in Every Day SEO,Search Engine Optimization,Small Business SEO

Enough is Enough. Today I received this bit of spam:

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful for me.

…and this one…

Took me time to read all of the comments, (there was one short comment) but I truly enjoyed the article. It proved to be really useful to me and I am certain to all the commenters here! It’s usually nice whenever you cannot only be informed, but also engaged! I am certain you had pleasure writing this article.

Enough is enough I decided today after thinking about what I could do to get rid of these creeps once and for all (kinda, sorta). IP blocking works so I went to the Plugins (add new) and looked for a few that might help me.

Two of them looked good and are easy to manage. The first one is iQ Block Countries, which, just as its name implies blocks entire countries. I added in Russia, both Koreas, China, Bulgaria, Denmark (yep, Denmark!) and a bunch of other ones in Africa etc.

Block by Country

IQ Block Countries - Block by Country

That’s great. But California and Texas aren’t countries so I had to add another great IP blocking plugin called Spammer Blocker. This one is really cool because it lets you edit the page code it sends anyone to whom you have marked as a spammer. (see plugin image as installed & modified below)

First I modified the on-page message a bit:

You are banned from this site!

Go Away, Little Girl!

Stop spamming and behave yourself. No hard feelings, and to prove it I want you to enjoy some entertainment before you leave – for good.

Spammer Blocker

Spammer Blocker - Block Individual Spammer IPs

Then I added a little video and set it to start playing automatically upon their next arrival. 🙂 (I want my spammers to feel the love next time they decide to drop by)

But I didn’t just want them to feel a little bit of love (after all, being banned isn’t at all fun and they might be feeling a bit depressed by it – I wouldn’t want to do that), I wanted them to feel a massive amount of love so I set it to 950 pixels wide, and put twelve copies of it, one beneath the next, all set to auto-play at once automatically. Whee! (I want the spammer’s CPUs and their GPUs to be super duper happy too. I hope I get lots and lots and lots of them).

BTW – if you’re interested in doing this yourself here’s the code to autoplay and set at 900 so all you need to do is plug it into your own Spammer Blocker.

<object width=”950″ height=”737″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/9oYrOtdlPsc?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1″></param><param name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”></param><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/9oYrOtdlPsc?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” width=”950″ height=”737″></embed></object>

Next I might possibly try setting up one of my blogs with a blocked spammer 301 to the comments section of the White House blog.  In spite of this post being about what will happen to drivel spammers on my blog, I just *know* I’m going to get some that will blindly, stupidly even leave comments on this post.

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